I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
