So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
