Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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