Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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