Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
