would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she smelled like a LAN party
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
