Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
