I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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