I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
