a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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