HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Green mimosas i think yes
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
