I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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