I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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