im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
