she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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