walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.