At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
