Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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