even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
