Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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