Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...

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  (404): think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room... http://tfl.nu/3nok
  Replies (17) Good night (5030) Bad night (699)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (6211) Bad night (1109)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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  (269): I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. http://tfl.nu/m1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1282) Bad night (6646)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?

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  (801): Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car? http://tfl.nu/7rvc
  Replies (4) Good night (2537) Bad night (1151)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

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  (516): He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this http://tfl.nu/b4ty
  Replies (8) Good night (3161) Bad night (1196)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.

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  (740): do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment. http://tfl.nu/04bg
  Replies (12) Good night (2437) Bad night (1268)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.

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  (252): If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech. http://tfl.nu/hajp
  Replies (7) Good night (1983) Bad night (605)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.

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  (214): Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask. http://tfl.nu/3wq6
  Replies (7) Good night (1617) Bad night (604)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

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  (512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7
  Replies (7) Good night (3136) Bad night (626)
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1192) Bad night (537)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?

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  (423): Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kprk
  Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (619)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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  (226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm
  Replies (6) Good night (1007) Bad night (537)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time

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  (973): Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time http://tfl.nu/0f26
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (280)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.

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  (919): No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions. http://tfl.nu/s4to
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (475)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS

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  (812): I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS http://tfl.nu/djn3
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (172)

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