Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.