Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.