Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial

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  (908): i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial http://tfl.nu/oypl
  Replies (6) Good night (1506) Bad night (513)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.

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  (310): It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples. http://tfl.nu/vzvv
  Replies (14) Good night (2583) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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  (248): her lazy eye was starring daggers at me. http://tfl.nu/0qd5
  Replies (17) Good night (663) Bad night (3246)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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  (850): Please dont jizz on my ds screen. http://tfl.nu/cm8h
  Replies (18) Good night (778) Bad night (5050)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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  (541): I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009 http://tfl.nu/ne91
  Replies (5) Good night (3807) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives

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  (970): Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives http://tfl.nu/k0eh
  Replies (13) Good night (3501) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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  (515): Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this? http://tfl.nu/woh0
  Replies (9) Good night (5309) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

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  (240): I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette... http://tfl.nu/tjl0
  Replies (17) Good night (919) Bad night (4729)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (6957) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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  (+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p
  Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (2089)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

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  (760): coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/by4p
  Replies (14) Good night (3963) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

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  (845): I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/wul6
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We don't watch enough power rangers

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  (305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy
  Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.

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  (610): Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight. http://tfl.nu/yorp
  Replies (3) Good night (261) Bad night (413)

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