Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

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  (706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore http://tfl.nu/b6gx
  Replies (14) Good night (3825) Bad night (847)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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  (229): whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says http://tfl.nu/6xum
  Replies (47) Good night (1483) Bad night (5579)
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  (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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  (818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i
  Replies (14) Good night (3811) Bad night (603)
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  (415): View more from California

  I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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  (415): I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone http://tfl.nu/hnp6
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (2703)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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  (807): Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/x0os
  Replies (10) Good night (1398) Bad night (4069)
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  (949): View more from California

  I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever

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  (949): I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever http://tfl.nu/w0x8
  Replies (9) Good night (3449) Bad night (1441)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.

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  (570): Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/epfb
  Replies (8) Good night (2696) Bad night (924)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.

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  (813): The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job. http://tfl.nu/jr9a
  Replies (10) Good night (1775) Bad night (591)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're gonna judge me.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Howd you sleep with him already

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  (720): You're gonna judge me. (303): Howd you sleep with him already http://tfl.nu/qfz4
  Replies (9) Good night (2043) Bad night (518)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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  (678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu
  Replies (15) Good night (2028) Bad night (973)
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  (949): View more from California

  Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.

  (562): View more from California

  The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me

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  (949): Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life. (562): The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me http://tfl.nu/pb5f
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  all my money is vodka money

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have never read a truer sentence.

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  (734): all my money is vodka money (1-734): I have never read a truer sentence. http://tfl.nu/947v
  Replies (0) Good night (859) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.

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  (647): Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already. http://tfl.nu/9nhw
  Replies (6) Good night (361) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO

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  (713): My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO http://tfl.nu/1per
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.

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  (340): Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly. http://tfl.nu/jqvi
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (206)

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