just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.