Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence