He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.