Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a

Replies (11) Good night (2706) Bad night (584)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

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(724): How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS. http://tfl.nu/1n4d

Replies (12) Good night (1115) Bad night (3549)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

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(617): So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus? http://tfl.nu/bsxq

Replies (19) Good night (1108) Bad night (5575)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

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(540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng

Replies (7) Good night (5933) Bad night (750)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.

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(502): So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut? (1-502): eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material. http://tfl.nu/j1ps

Replies (19) Good night (4966) Bad night (1097)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"

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(250): Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole" http://tfl.nu/hdok

Replies (11) Good night (1287) Bad night (2683)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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(913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l

Replies (24) Good night (7803) Bad night (1213)
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(360): View more from Washington

Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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(360): Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery http://tfl.nu/djsi

Replies (5) Good night (1722) Bad night (637)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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(203): Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight? http://tfl.nu/h4cr

Replies (8) Good night (1511) Bad night (567)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6

Replies (3) Good night (1964) Bad night (653)
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(773): View more from Illinois

by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

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(773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw

Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (506)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

(410): View more from Maryland

I didn't know

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(703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0

Replies (1) Good night (1509) Bad night (464)
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(631): View more from New York

Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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(631): Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition. http://tfl.nu/xj5o

Replies (3) Good night (1492) Bad night (462)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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(405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id

Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (222)
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(831): View more from California

Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"

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(831): Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over" http://tfl.nu/jc5k

Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (233)

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