i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
