While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
