I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
