I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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