Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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