so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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