So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize