my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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