I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am available for nakedness
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
