Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize