there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
