Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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