He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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