I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
