I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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