I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
