I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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