office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
