Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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