All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
