theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
