i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
