It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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