I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
