You just made me feel so damn special
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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