You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
