Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
