Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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