Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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