He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
