you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
smell my finger.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
