Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
