can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
