if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize