My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
