Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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