I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize