Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
