you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
