she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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