Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
