The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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