:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
